Friday, May 13, 2005

Friday...the 13th! *gasp*
or
Man i'll be busy wiping off the spit from this rant...

Before those of you who'd even bother reading this rant go ahead with it, lets just go with a proper post, hmmn? mmkays?

Listening to : Silverchair - The Greatest View
Feeling : calmed, yet spiteful

Meant to go to the gym as usual tonight - but i was still 50-50 on whether or not to go for the sembayang hajat and yasin reading the warwick msians were arranging thurs-night. Decided to go after all after 3 phone calls and 4 MSNs. Haha it was like i was meant to go , liddat - out of the blue pun 2 of my hallmates with cars suddenly offered to give me a lift to central campus. Haaa....tanda? Well at least caught up with some ppl i havent seen pretty much since mnite, and makan free of course...

Moment of peace and piety aside.....

* okay if you're also having exams, or actually have a LIFE this is where you should stop reading*

*no? okay fine suit yourself. You've been warned - lengthy lengthy rant, mostly for the benefit of myself *

Hell yeah i've found something to rant about....... I managed to ebay off my webcam ( that i didn't use all too much ) for no loss at all, but then something went all fucked up in the post and the bitch who's waiting for it is giving me all types of hell. It's only been 5 days - okay, all the other packages i posted on the same day at the same post office already reached their satisfied buyers, ( +ve feedback, yay) but somehow this particular one found itself into the miasma of the dilapidated British work ethic that is Royal Mail.

I've already done more than my fair part about describing my posting and packing policies on eBay and shipping off the damn stuff as soon as i could, but this stupid bitch is going to bring up an Ebay 'dispute claim' if i don't suss it out. Bitch. Skanky bitch. Skanky frigid fungal-farm-coochie bitch. Shit happens in the post. Suck it up . Hell i've had my fair share of things not arriving, or arriving 3 weeks late in one case from Ebay sellers. Out of nowhere she keeps on emailing me asking where was the info she asked for about the packaging and posting she asked for on our last correspondence when :

a. There was no mention of any queries in the last email
b. Everythings already stated on the auction site.

Well in all fairness i'd be a bit of a bitch too if a webcam i forked out 45 quid for online isn't getting to me. To be fair lets carry some spite over to the posties. I wouldn't presume much about the people behind the actual logistics of the mail system, but generally the oh-so-cheery faces behind the perspex window are wretched demon-spawned meatbags who couldn't manage a smile even with meathooks pulling their mouths apart and upwards, much less care about the quality of the service they are rendering you. I've been to my fair share of post offices around London, Oundle, Peterborough, Warwick, Coventry and the odd small English county and its safe to say that basically all their employees are either:

i. 40+ , overweight English man or woman picked pretty much picked out of the west country. Once in a while actually accomodating/helpful, mostly disillusioned with their jobs and probably wouldn't really mind dying from an infected paper cut.
ii.A similarly aged subcontinent Asian, with that typical anglicized coconut, curried accent. They think they're more British then the Goddamn royal family and they can be even more racist than the local KKK chapter. Generally curt and rude and takes pleasure in NOT being helpful. Also anal to the MAX with policy.

Which in turn leads me to another rant on....BBIs - British Born Indians, and 1st generation immigrants. Brief disclaimer - i'm not being racist, i'm lambasting statistically proven cultural observations ( guess thats stereotypes in layman). SO yeah, basically the old 1st generation immigrants think they own the country and sneer upon other immigrants and foreigners while they themselves regularly milk/game the British job support, healthcare and welfare for their own ends - most of the time in the papers when there's any welfare kefuffle, fradulent NHS claims and the likes, its a 1st generation South Asian immigrant more than 4/5 of the time.

They dare claim to be more worldy and more british than any other immigrant, while Indian communities in Britain are more insular and excluding than any other. Generally, thats just the 1st gens and the ones who practically never left their houses. The young ones who are not beaten through grammar school to medschool mostly make up the Desi ( indian slum, equivalent to american ghetto) rapper-bling wearer-balla-doorag wearing black wannabes who will mostly end up driving minicabs, deliving your prawn bhuna or the token asian member of the gang who mugged someone you knew last week. So in a typical 1st gen immigrant family you have:

a. The somewhat overweight paneer-scoffing mustachioed man with a bad wig and even worse navy blazer walking like he's keeping a cricket bat handy up his ass going to his job at the Post office, sundry shop or Tesco/Sains/Asda.
b. The even more overweight wife, looking resplendently buoyant in a neutral coloured saree, salwar khameez or kurta with all the drapings doing her marketing, catching up on gossip ( who's marrying who, who's son earns more) with like minded women, churning out aloo gobi in the kitchen or ALSO waddling off to her job at the posties' or a supermart.
c. The only son, whose parents THINK he's at the library while in fact he's trolling for minge in his focus/fiesta/nova with plastic spinnaz and neon undercarraige blasting something by either 50cent or G-unit while dressed like one of the aforementioned thu..i mean 'talents' * resists urge to begin rant about rappers - thats for another day hmmn?*

Whiich at long last brings me back to eBay and another brief rant about eBay swindlers - people who seemingly auction off consumer electronics, but in fact only auction INFORMATION about where to get that stuff for a quid or two off RRP online, and most annoyingly people from China or Hong Kong who put their location as UK, London , NY etc to get their knockoff fakes and imitations on these eBay markets - the only things that tip you off are the attrocious english , loooong delivery times, bizzare payment methods and ludicrous shipping rates. Goddamn money minded scammers. Africans too - those 401 k Nigerian money transfer scams made their way on ebay too - you know those - some random exiled govermental fuckwad who asks for your bank info to help transfer a vast sum of money , leaving you a cut, of course. Except now, they come up with a long winded strangely amiable letter about something you've put up for bids, saying they're someones relative grandfather spouse etc etc in America wanting to buy something for someone who is conveniently in Nigeria for a sum you wouldn't expect. They juuust want your bank details too. Damn phishers.



AAAAnd there's those popus and pop UNDERS no amount of spyware removal or firewall will cure. NO i do not fucking want diazepam or rohypnol, and neither do i want some crap tinny free ringtone and i'll be damned if i'm gonna call that number thinking i'm actuallly gonna get a free cruise. Bleedin' cunts... Whatever happened to the good ol days when you can simply put down the phone on telemarketers and pretend nobody's home when door to door salesmen come a knocking. There is no blessing in making a living by annoying the FuCkINg daylights out of people.

FUck nigerian scammers, FUcK less-than-honest eBay traders, FuCK adware, and FuCK every single civil servant/service employee who throws red tape in your face for the fun of it. May they suffer eternal impalement on the giant, thorned, flaming revolving plagued phallus of Abaddon in the deepest nethermost levels of hell!!!!!

Woe betide whosoever messes with me in the coming days.......

Proximus sum egomet mihi

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