Feelin: ridiculously bored
Listening to : Waktu Yang Tepat Untuk Berpisah - So7

Its always like this, isnt it? You'd think you'd actually blog more during the holidays - what with the free time to think of random bullshit to drawl out and all those stories of holiday hedonism.
*sigh*

As of this exact moment, i'm munching on the roast duck green salad with a soy miso vinegarette ( yes everything's made from scratch. i was THAT bored) and i've just finished watching Coyote Ugly - an old movie, i know, but yeah it was a good eye washing. mmmm. Especially after the drivel that was the last half of Gundam Seed Destiny.

That shoulda given you an idea of how my first Xmas period in the UK was. Utter. Mind.Numbing.Bollocks. Came back in from France on the 24th - fair enough - wasnt expecting to do much for Xmas eve. But Boxing day? Its like the whole fuckin country shuts down from Xmas day till new year's. FUcked up trains, fucked up buses. Boxing day sales my ass. I fully intend to make it into London on the 31st to ring in the new year even if i have to fuckin hitchike.

And there IS a bigger waste of your youth than DOTA or hero siege. Try playing a LAN game of Civilization 4.

Oh yeah - a quick(maybe) little run through of the ski trip -

Prologue

The two days leading up to the trip was crazy - practically had no sleep. even the day before the trip started with a little visit to MSD and lunch at m'sia hall, followed by some random rambling around Whiteleys ( no, i actually WAS asleep for a bit at Starbucks. seriously). Barely had time for dinner then went out again clubbayng - at cafe de paris. Then adventure for fucks sommore cos 2 of us were wearing sneakers and we had to go back and change. Looong story short we all did get in at the end. Yay. Would have been a brilliant night out if it werent for the shoe thing - but i was still fun!

Not bad man...clocked less than 2 hours getting back via a night bus to earls court, gettin a shower, packin up and getting a cab down to Victoria for the first Gatwick Express at 5am.

Eh you know what?

LAZYYYY

Fine - it isn't gonna be short. Esp the bit about Monarch Airlines and French Immigration. I'd better get some sleep if i'm to roll down to london later today, where i fully intend to get smashed. So there. Itenerary and photos next time. Or maybe just photos. Fine here's one.

A super post-cardy shot , from the top of the nursery slopes

Till then, happy new year, everybody! Don't drink too much*, don't do anything stupid** but whatever it is you do you'd better bloody have fun! soooOO wish i could be back in m'sia for new year's with you guys...just whip out the silver maracas of doom for me!

Thought of the day - " Gymmin' don't cure ugly. "


* too much - any amount involving being paralytic or requiring stomach pumping
**anything stupid - anything that will land you in jail, doing naked ear squats

Listening to : Unstoppable - The Calling

Feeling : Depr...i mean....euphorically challenged

Its that time again - looming deadlines ( yes in the freaking middle of the holidays - screw you carbon footprint assignment ) and one helluva messed up biological clock. What else to do when all other options for procrastinating are gone ? Blog onlyyy.....

Its been a while, so here are the bullet point updates :

Capped off the end of term last week with chinese buffet at Wing Wah. Ate lots. All the women coincidentally wore black. Hilarious karaoke session. After that no one had anymore chutzpah to hit the end of term party. Except yours truly who wasnt going alone. Still amped and dying to party, so obviously damn tak puas.

Fine i know its boring to read - sorryla damn tulan already...lemme jazz it up a little.

Jeesus abdul CHRIST it's been a boring fucking week since the end of term . Easily the most boring end of term i have ever bloody had since...EVER! Freakin-a man.... hardly anyone's left around in town, and i can't leave cos i'm still waitin for my accoms claims cash and cos of that Monday deadline. The last week's pretty much been nothing but gym, sleeping, workin ( not quite enough ) and Civ 4. Thats just fuckin sad.

Imma cut myself off right there before this gets anywhere close to one of those whiny, moaning self pitying blogs i hate oh-so-much. But yeah all in summary - between all the holiday assignments, waiting for mah monnayyy, mind numbing inactivity, severe lack of sunlight hours, tryin to get summer internship applications together everything's just a fucking lovely floral arrangement of fresh banksias from africa and italian mimosas in the window of the florists' at Libertys. eeERRgh.

A quick pick-me-up before anything else - two half -decent jokes that i recently read that i actually havent heard before -

#1

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast and screams, then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more agony. She pushes her knee and screams; likewise she pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she says, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."

#2

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. "How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun? !What is a golf gun?" "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."



Cooool leh? Expect more touches like this in the coming month. Prolly even do my own layout in Dreamweaver when i figure out how to use my own templates in blogger.

Disclaimer: well more like a waiver. I'm too zonked to write this from an ambigous standpoint,being somewhat of a consumer whore myself , so if at any point during this rant i start sounding hypocritical to you, take both your thumbs, put 'em in your noses and start doing jumping jacks.

Anyhoo

Haih...what else can i say about the infamous ' ear squat video' thats not been said. From the obviously exaggerated BBC / CNN reports, personal thoughts of other bloggers north and south of the johor straits ( some of them quite hilarious, if not misguided) to the oh-so Malaysian reports in the goddamn Malaysian papers, complete with the blatantly posed pictures with our MPs viewing the video on their colleagues' laptops with their dramatic finger pointing and aghast expressions. Eeeverything about the whole mess is sooo fucked up - the fucktard who took the video, the profiling of chinese tourists, the blowhards in parliament and the lambasting of the government as a whole by foreign media. I wouldn't touch on this anymore as much as i'd like to touch a decomposing leper with a stick.

Now i'm gonna bitch on just one of the many aspects i hate about the tasteless rich ( especially those goddamn rappers , trashy celebrities and 'new money') - the Brashness of Bling - vulgar, obscene, needless displays of wealth.

No single demographic has been responsible for glorifying bling as much as hip-hoppers/rappers to the point that i believe they're entitled a little paragraph of their own. Instead of going blablaba Cristal blablabla rims blablabla i'm just gonna smack on Wikipedia's take on it which is sooo to the point:

"Mainstream hip hop music's fixation on bling bling and other material and luxury goods has led to much criticism from media pundits and musical critics. They charge that the phenomenon promotes consumerism and materialism, and strengthens false racist arguments that young African American men are incapable of higher or more virtuous or spiritual goals than material gain, reinforing the "nigger rich" stereotype.

Like, seriously. What the fuck is up with 24 inch spinners on wheels? Velvet covered chairs with gold trimmings that are a pain to sit in? Enough bracelets to turn a walk into a bicep curl session? Ludicruously outsized hernia inducing necklaces that cost the GDP of a small African nation?

No single demographic has been responsible for glorifying bling as much as hip-hoppers/rappers.

Whatever happened to being subtle ? There ARE bloody loaded people who somehow manage to enjoy their wealth in low key without turning heads or bloody blinding people. Say, for example spending just as much on an architect and interior designer on actually building that dream crib instead of throwing a gob of money at a second rate contractor to build a monstrosity of a domicle that makes you feel like you're in an antique furniture showroom. Or wearing immaculately tailored clothes that make you look and feel good, not like a Blacksploitation-era pimp or a whore who puts on her makeup in the dark with her foot. Just goes to show that no matter how rich you are, sometimes you just can't buy class.

Chavs with their Burberry. Ah lians with their Gucci, Prada and Fendi. Fake or real, it doesn't matter. Trashhhyyyyy!! Take this for an example:


A Jacob & Co( a firm favourite of rappers) number splattered with ice vs a Lange. Bling vs Blank. Which one wouldja rather have hmmn? Would you believe me if i told you the one on the right cost more? Yep it does. Well maybe not for this diamond bucket but for a typical Jacob.

At the end of the day a watch is for tellin time, isn't it? I'd rather have an simple, legible dial with a rock solid movement instead of something that will probabably blind you when you look at it in the sun and breaks down after a coupla jigs.

THATs quality craftsmanship. Imagine the skill and artistry that goes into the tourbillon and escapement. Beats covering a watch with diamonds anyday. Plus, you're a lot less likely to get mugged , yesno?

Don't ask - i have nooo idea why i decided to do an example with watches. Puttin up photos of houses is just stupid, and it wouldnt be quite *right* if i started discussing handbags and accessories on this site , no? * grunt grunt *

Well, as hard as is to believe, i will be gettin back to work now. oh and i'd just DIE if someone were to get me a Lange for xMas. Anyone? I'm sorray, but i'd need that money to buy a freakin HOUSE first. oooh ooh how about a hot 40 something minted professional of a sugar momma who'd get me one?

Like, wok-eva yeah?

" You can't say chastity without 'ass' or 'titty' , can you? "

Feelin : *yawwwn*
Listening to : i'm glad there is you - Jamie Cullum

Phoaar damn syiok - just added a whole whack of yummy albums to my playlist - Daniel Powter ( think half Will Young, half James Blunt) , The Darkness, more Coltrane, Keith Urban, Faith Hill, Marcell ( the indon one) , Robbie Williams and Westlife. If you could somehow take cocaine through your ears, it still wouldnt match the aural bliss im wallowing in. (I'm just guessin here, okay!)

..before i forget, a quote by the housie downstairs on morning breath problems:
" Solve it with...chewing GiM!!" * enthusiastic kitschy pose*
** no its not a typo

...no, but yeah, like, somefink...

Just recovered from a tiring but stupidly fun weekend at Notts - Naz's birthday soiree. I'm sure she never saw the skit - and especially the birthday song - coming. Props to Su for coming up with the script thats so hilariously sakit otak and Puteri & Elle for the birthday dance. You could almost smell the redneckness & the moonshine-stained dungarees. I can't take the credit for the dinner either - i did have a bevy of gourgeous executive kitchen assistants kan? And of course the birthday girl herself for hosting the whole shebang. BUt seriously, bruschetta, pasta and chocolate fondue is so salah for breakfast, okay?

A bunch of hilarious quotes hidden in a bowl of fruity goodness.

Oh yeah, krispy kreme for whoever describes that sound i made sleeping in the most hilarious way. Serious i tak percaya. Now excuse me while i take another shower to try and wash off all that oestrogen.

Singsoc Xmas dinner

The Singsoc Christmas dinner was excellent. I'd say the 12 pounds covered the food , goodies and the entertainment, but seeing our own Wavey in the blindfolded dancing game alone was bloody well worth it. Along with all the squeaky laughter afterwards - inhaling that much helium can't be good forya.

Haven't had such a traditionally English xmas dinner since Oundle. Down to the xmas crackers and those doofy paper hats. The only thing was that they substituted brussels sprouts with long beans.

Wavey enjoying his food, perhaps a little too much.

No, i dont think Taib's gonna give up his spinny whistly thing.

Okay kids thats it for show and tell time.

Actually i think i had quite a bit to rant about - lotsa personal views on some really fucked up things about Malaysian politics, religion and the justice system. Luckily, i got it all off my chest by "discussing" on MSN ( you know who you are , word!) , sparing me another whole bunch of typing and bringing up sensitive issues that might just rub some of you guys the wrong way - well that and the ever present possibility of (yes i know i used this before) having some bored ass government servant/jakim lackey that didn't even pass PMR tell on me after coming across my little online spitting room on their 5th tea break of the day and having "plain clothes" police ( think checkered cheap shirts tucked into cheap faded jeans , with a cheap baseball cap and cheap handlebar moustache) drag me off straight from KLIA to a disused tin mine for a 'chat'.

Hence, here's a safe, family friendly ( okay maybe not the swearing) rant.

Archeology + Hollywood = Adventure + Bullshit

Just watched the myth a coupla weeks ago. Yeah the effects are good and all for a Jacky Chan movie, but like other English Jacky Chan movies (probably save for Rush Hour) the story stank worse than a dead vegas hooker whose been rotting in a dumpster for a summer week. Its like they hired a trained ( dubious) monkey to hammer out the script. C'mon - anti gravity ore, a korean concubine, and a mongolian general who for some reason ends up buried in an indian temple in a floating sarchophagus suspended by aforementioned ore. I can't be the only one who thought the movie took a bit of a piss at indians too.

In the end they find the mythical tomb of the first emperor of China. They kept to the myth of having a roof inset with jewels to mirror the stars, and a minature of the whole of china with rivers that flowed mercury. Only they decided to have everything suspended in zero grav. Seriously. WTF.

I'd hate to have be the sad git who'd have to dust the damn place.

Also, in the end, just like every other movie where the protagonist goes through a life-threatening series of misadventures , close calls and femme fatales to find some long lost tomb, cache of treasure or artifact of god-like powers some numbnut manages to find the compulsory self destruct trigger , everything goes fuckall and the hero escapes alone or with a random ditzy chick and the villian dies chasing the treasure. Dahling thats sooo Indiana Jones - or The Mummy....or King Solomon's Mines...hell even The goddamned Goonies.

Don't touch anything. Yeah right.

Makes absolutely no sense doesnt it? Imagine Shih Huang Ti sayin this:

Emperor: I want an amazing tomb, filled with all my treasures, possessions, and battalions of terracotta guards.

Underlings: Yes my liege.

Emperor: I want it to also be a monument to my greatness and dominion in my reign - i know! Mirror the skies with precious stones and the rivers that feed the land with quicksilver! Of course the artisans will have to be killed so they can never replicate that glory.

Underlings: I....guess... we can do that..

Emperor: Oooh ooh i know and then we can hide it where nobody will ever bloody find it!

Underlings: [silence]

Emperor: And in the unlikely event that someone finds it, we'll have deviously engineered death traps!

Underlings: *whispers* i think he's losing it.

Emperor: If some hero manages to set foot in my tomb or touches anything, everything will just get all fucked up! Boom! Blam! Aieee!! *throws hands in the air*

Underlings: ............

But of course, thats all just in the movies. Real archeology is super boring bullshit that takes painfully long hours dusting buildings with paintbrushes , months of detective work in pallid, obscure libraries and massive bureucracy and politicking over discovery rights - look at the Elgin Marbles. You never know tho...some unwitting archeology grad might just step on the wrong floor tile at the Terracotta warrior complex and have the whole place crumble into a big heap of char siew. Or maybe that fat falafel scarfing liar Zahi Hawass(egyptian director of antiquities) will open the wrong tunnel in the Great Pyramid and unleash a plague that will scour the earth. A proper "boils and pustules" plague, not just a throng of fashion victim hongkeys with unbelievably annoying accents.



Whichever pharoah( still under debate) who build the pyramids has got the right idea tho. Imagine having a sweet tomb like that. Too bad the stripped down the original white limestone cover stones to build freakin Cairo and melted down the massive gold apex to make fuck knows what. But of course there are those crazies who still say that the pyramids were build by aliens or some older civilization ( maybe i'll bore you with all my pre-flood civilization stories another day) as some kind of transmitter or beacon or geometrical message.

But fuck that. I have greater worries now. Like my Carbon footprint coursework...and getting the irritatingly happy and catchy Westlife song ( Change Your Mind) outta my head. I'm gonna top this one off with the chorus from that Jamie Cullum song - seriously babes that song is soo good. And in case you were psychoanalyzing or thinking that i'm scandaliciously head over heels or anything of the sort, i'm not, mkays. I just like that song SOOO much.

in this world of ordinary people...
extraordinary people,
i'm glad there is you

in this world of overrated pleasures
and underrated treasures,
i'm glad there is you.

Listening to: Fiesta Mojo - Dizzy Gillespie ( makes you feel like you're having a cheery stroll thru a colourful carribean beachside market)
Feelin: overloaded yet strangely unworried

Booyaah!

I vaguely remember havin something to rant about, but i'm not really in a ranty mood today. Massive "To-Do" list and i'm still comin down from that cold-should be totally gone in a day or two.

Oh yeah - just googled my blog for fucks again the other day, and found a coupla of interesting things. Firstly, my blog was quoted for somethin on some feminist's blog - don't know for what tho - scary. Also, my rant a coupla months ago on Microsoft screwing over gamers who kept using Windows just for games by making so many good new games XBox exclusives got reprinted on some random gaming site. Fuyooo.... maybe if i kept my rants in full English god knows where they'll end up..

On that note, i've been randomly skimming my older entries and i realized that the standard of my writing has kinda dropped - chiefly through the usage of my extremely rusty slang malay and the overuse of random hokkien/cantonese swear words. I've also been relying too much on my super-random analogies and hyperbole instead of proper, witty writing. Apologies to you folks from down south who don't understand malay ( and some of you from the land of no-we-still-dont-have-to-recycle-our-piss yet, hmmn?)

This time its gonna be another typical update, but with more pictures! Yay!(cheer and clap a little bitches - it wont killya)


X-Raya-Vali

The new commitee did rather a good job on this years xrayavali - altho they were missing the skit, the extra bits of caroling , nasyid and charity did kinda make up for it. They didn't do too badly on the charity either, considering that there was nobody to dropoff 200 pounds just like that like last year - although i'm sure that stupid 4 positions game thing was rigged. Hmmph.

The slave auction was quite hot. Our house shared ( still havent settled on who's payin how much) on a winning bid (66 pounds) for a pair of fresher girls. Haih get them to wash plates once enough already lah. Kan its for charityyyyy (cringes as amar projects what he could have bought with his share). Hope i didn't rosakkan my reputation by being the one bidding - later for fucks all freshers think i'm a rich perv.

....i'm not rich.Heh.

Looked around for some pics from that to pose, but they all sucked (i.e. i wasnt in, or i looked fat/more camp than usual) Here's one anyway:


Oh yeah here's a tip for you guys. When you're tired and just crashing watching TV at Charl's place, do not play with any stuffed toys given to you. You'll fall asleep holding it , someone will take a picture, and she'll post it on her blog. Grr. Girllll you gotta start watchin what you pun on there!
Can't see? Can't see? FINE


Haha take THAT charl!

Of course in response to this malu-fying emasculation i have to post something that somewhat redeems my defiant male ego.


The Bugatti Veyron....sweet eh? This insane car's actually going into production with the 16.4 model. The engine's a double V8 that churns out 1001 bloody BHP. The speed actually has to be limited around 405kmph because thats as much as the transmission and body can take - makes even an Enzo look like one of those stupid electric 1/10th scales your baby cousin drives hmmn? Definitely for you if you got a spare 500k pounds and know an oil sheik...or Bruneian royalty cos you gonna burn a full tank getting stuck in KL traffic for an hour. I love the design so much i actually based my car design prototype and sculpture last year on the profile.

Also took apart my desktop piece by piece except for the thermal compounded bits and dusted everything cos the fans were already making dust clicks. With the 8 fans inside its a bloody dust trap i tellya. Had to actually vacuum and sinks and all the fans. Took the chance to rearrange some of the wiring and shift the hds around for better airflow. Naturally after that played again with the possibility of water cooling everything and pimpin up the case as well buuut wasting money onlyyy....

Oh yeah and i cut myself shaving the other day yes i know that happens like once a year...

Aand...i cut and burnt myself...working in the kitchen making a thyme and rosemary roast

So yeah....*grunt grunt grunt*

Lets finish with two quotes i remember from XRV yesterday:
"Pukimak halal!!" - not me
"You know , actually you're quite hot. Just dont open your mouth." - again, not me

And random thought of the day:
Men - be it your mother, sister, friend or lover - at any given time a woman's either judging you, or testing you.
Women - somewhere out there at this very moment a bunch of guys is referring to you by a physical trait(s) or a perceived character quirk , and its not because they forgot your name.

Feeling: just a touch under the weather * snrrkkkkttTCHOO!*
Listening to : too much jiwangness. gerenti sakit

Purely Procrastination

It's been a boring ass weekend. Going to notts would've been just as boring,(not like you were at any of the events, were you naz? thatswhyyyy) except i woulda had to throw away more money and get on a freakin bus - oh yeah and there is Nottingham weather which is a bit more faktap than here.

Went to gym saturday to try and work off this goddamn flu, and when i took the bus back kena stress for fucks sommore. Six people sitting in one bunch, on the aisle seats with their bags on the window seat. On a full bus, no less. These people should be sterilized with a rusty butter knife i tell you.

Oooh here's a random little joke that got me laughing balls at 3 in the morn:

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"

The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"

The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

And you just HAVE to look at these ads from here and here. Don't say i didn't warn you.

Oh wait...i really didnt...

Anatamo watashimo POCKY!!!

Feelin: muscle aches galore (back to hardcore gymming baybehh), mild bitchiness

Listening to: Can I Have It Like That - Pharell ft. Gwen Stefani

Man that song is catchy, but whatever they paid Gwen, it was too much - cmon she just said 5 freakin words and appeared a bit in the video. Also in heavy rotation on my playlist : Madonna's Hung Up,(daaamn power dancing) B.E.P's My Humps , Alicia Keys unplugged, the new Jamie Cullum album & Anuar Zain yesiknowjiwangshutthefuckup.....

*clears throat*

Haih lets settle the boring shit before i get on to the rants... and oh yeah and the bit on raya + photos is at the veeeeeery end - kalau memang malas baca skip onlyy....

Sangheeta led a whole whack of us for a deepavali night dinner at an indian palace in town. Forgot the name of the place, but remember one thing - they may have had a fuckload of original, tasty dishes, but they didnt.have.fuckin.lassi. How can an indian place not have lassi? rrrgh. The goddamned drizzle didnt stop us from setting off fireworks later at hearsall common. Magnificent sight i tell you - a posse of somewhat damp 20+ year old uni students, running away like bitches from roman candles that couldnt kill a fly.

The supposed brainstorming for Mnite? More like a " lets shoot down the kwai lou Cultural Officer's idea like the crows outside Jasima/Rhasta " session. True, i was against the idea from the onset because an Edgar Allan Poe play ( even the Bergkoff version) , no matter how much you try and dress it down is still just wrong - but once the pres started to comment about the fact that it *might* not be the most suitable idea, it was open season. Some of the criticism was juuust a little bit too personal. I'd be pretty smashed too if everyone was soo enthusiastic ( albeit clueless) in the beginning and completely did a 180 later on. Hope he does go on doing the workshops and directing the play ( recently confirmed as a super typical formulaic Mnite love story - hey if it aint broke, don't fix it!).

So much for bullet point updates. Now for the ReAL rants.

En Garde, pret, Alle!

From Oundle to Imperial, most of the people who fenced were quite serious about it - well i'm sure you have to to have endured all that strict salle style training ( the rotund, mutton chop-sideburned coach in Oundle actually freakin taped the foil pommel to my wrist and made me play stricly defensively for 2 weeks because i played too much offense ) and hardcore footwork drills. Sommore out of the fencers in IC quite a lot of the non-novices have been doing it for ages....got 1 feller who used to be on the UK under 16 team, some hongkeys who also did serious training in Brit boarding schools, and even a Singaporean from Raffles Junior *koff* who had massive Raffles logo on the back of his jacket.Haih. Generally most of the kuai lous who fence are also a bit the posh ppl who come from boarding schools as well( yes Puteri baru you tauu...)

Warwick's a different story though. For some reason, a lot of people randomly join fencing for fucks, and a lot of them quite condemn lor... Seriously - i'm not just being mean( like i usually give a damn when i am) but its like most of the people who join fencing here are:

1. Physically uncoordinated & incapable of other sports, and were lured by the tagline where fencing's described as " chess with brawns". Normally they don't stay on very long when they discover its in fact, like playing squash - Wearing thick, heavy jackets - and you hit each other-Hard. You need to move fast, and your legs need to do weird things. Oh yeah and being a fatass makes you soo much easier to hit too.

Yup we do shit like this all the time. Don't mess.

2. Sad loser type people who try to make up for their social inadequacies and general ineffectiveness by joining things where they think they can live out their empowering warrior fantasies ( battle renactment society, kendo, fencing, etc ) , not realizing that if they DID live in "the good old days" they wouldn't have had the balls and drive to rise above being peasants or stable bitches. Whatever they join, they just do it poorly and then bitch and moan about how they would have been "someone" in those "good old days".


3. People who find obscure sports to join, for the sole purpose of mucking about and running uncontested for the exec. comm of the sport. I swear - outside of the Mens' and Womens' captains, all the comm members hardly fence at all. And when they do, they realized quickly why they dont.

With all these idiots filling up the spots in the soc, the hall can be a bit too crowded sometimes to have proper bouts on the electric pistes, and the coach is usually too busy with novices to polish up the vets. With that in mind, the vets are getting a bit of a raw deal, arent they? We pay 20quid a term for coaching and kit, while we get very little coaching, and we mostly have our own kit. Balls i say.

The other day ran into a prefect example of #2. Kept following whoever he fought around the hall going on and on about himself and all the other "warriorlike" shit that he does. Yup i kena also. He keeps doing this damn cheap thing where he just slides the weapon tip along the floor like a broom and goes for your toes ( yup, epeeist). It wouldn't work on a proper insulated piste - if you hit the floor its an off-target , and well, its just that NOBODY DOES THAT. Mahai like youla Wave, play tekken all the way block and low kick only hahahaha. And that sohai still wonders why all the vets he fenced goes out juuust that extra mile to actually injure him. Haha he couldn't even take the hint when i played extra ganas so i just capped him right in the knee. Padan muka. Just like the hongkey who kept fouling and hitting my leg ( pain weii) so i charged him, purposely missed and knocked the mo'fucker down with the guard to his face- and the best part was i didn't even get fouled/carded for that. Muahaha.

I love fencing. What other sport gives you a good workout and stress relief in one shot. Cmon - give me another sport where you hit people with metal sticks for points.

More snippy, less talky...


Got a haircut at Toni & Guy the other day. After goin to several different T&Gs over the last coupla years, i've realised that they have a pretty much preset guideline of questions to ask to initiate typical hairdresser banter, which makes it even more annoying. I don't go to T&Gs to talk fluff with peroxide blondes with too much makeup or have a shampoo with all the theraputic finesse of an electric parut kelapa ( even the paria chinese barber i used to go to with me old man last time gave yummy head.....waiit for it...... massages with the shampooing) - i go to get a half decent haircut. Next time i'm just gonna bring out a printout of my Friendster page, shove it to my stylist and tell her to only open her mouth if its about my hair. Of course, if i REALly did that she'd probably botch up my cut on purpose and i could end up looking like a hongkey...the horrOR!! *yes Jac blah blah singaporean blah blah*

i could have sworn i have one more rant left....its just as well i dont remember it now. Another day, perhaps.

Raya was t3h R0x0rZ

Yup - raya this year was ser-weet. First of all, thanks to The House of Charl for puttin me up for the weekend again! Next time i cook for you all, mmkays? - well after another round at Addies and Masala Zone, that is.

On saturday, pretty much spent the whole afternoon at Tuan Syed's open house. SUPER yummy home cooked food - and biscuits and cakes as well! Semakin popular wei..haha every year got more non-scholars datang - must be the cornflake biscuits hmmn? Oh yeah and sorrraay Su and Puts for being schoooo late - at least i can blame 20 mins of it on that goddamned picaddily line delay.

On Sunday a bunch of us crashed the Brunei high comm and ate our fill ( the food was serious sedap porno giler - THREE types of rice....THREE!!..and the lamb!!!) before faffing off to the MSD do in some random hall near Whiteleys. Nasib baik we already kenyang - we arrived just about 3 hours into the thing, and the rice was gone - just really bad ayam masak merah and dhall. Sommore we heard earlier on because of the health and safety regs of the place, they had bouncers to stop people from coming in and also ask people to leave. Rosak giler man the raya mood. Brunei high comm meriah giler - almost everyone was in raya finery, and there was raya music, and it was a very warm cosy place. Total opposite at the malaysia hall do. At least jumpa orang laa....

Eh i'm damn cock tired la....i'll just whack up the photos and call it a day, okay? Peace out , much love ( esp if you've read EVERYTHING).

eeeeee malunyeer...wAIT who's hand was that?

If it isn't my darling neph..niece and fellow Oundelian!!

Aaaaawwww...

Oh shit Malaysians! Hide the food bah!Cempakan's fo' lifeThe lads ngan Tuan SyedLe Femmes, + kerol saja nak kacau.A-Levels/BTU 2001 - Full time scholars, part time poseurs.

Selamat Hari Raya!!!!!

Just a brief seasons' greetings and shoutout - Maaf zahir & batin to all you gheourr-geus folks!

Anyway, seriously, i humbly beseech your forgiveness for aaany slips of the tongue and anytime i've accidentally dissed or pissed any of you - i'm sure you know how sharp my tongue is and how my mouth is like...overclocked relative to my brain.

To all my dear beloved chummies and family -
* Amar in his shiny new grey tan baju melayu and black songket, bowing and salam cam budak baik*
Where the flaming fuck am i going to find palm fronds here? and bamboo?

Actually i got a coupla more things to blog about, but my schedule is kinda the faktap at the moment, but when i'm rushing to finish some work before i dart off to London for some serious rayaing i'm bound to suddenly click on the "Blogger Home" tab on my Mozilla and start vomiting nouns, verbs, adverbs, superlatives and the like ( and the regular dash of cursing that'll make an old salt of a captain proud). Stay tuned for updates & rants on our DeepaRaya dinner, fireworks , observations on fencers and the warwick MSA mNite brainstorming sesh!

* goes back to enjoying his first breakfast in a month, over looping raya songs*

Its that time of the year again...


..where blogging becomes my poison of choice for procrastination on those dreary deadline-laden late nights/early mornings. Not only that, i'm falling back into friendster as well - i'm *this* close to sending out a whole whack of raya greetings and new testimonials ( and freaking out over the interesting assortment of characters that viewed my profile - to think those are the ones that you can see - saying nothing of the phantom stalkers)

Right now? I'm still working on getting that stupid song Tipah Tertipu outta my head, while pludging through that damned Hydro coursework and also my German assignment for tomorr...make that 5 1/2 hours. Yep - already on form. All this while running up and down the stairs like hamster high on caffeine to grab the periodic snack despite having a fuckin cornucopia of junk food in my room. HAhaha MSN isnt helping much either. Ballcocks.

Oh yeah stumbled into this as well. I've always been one to piss on horoscopes and astrology, but this was rather interesting. If you're feeling equally procrastinatious (grammar police, sod off) go ahead and see how much you agree....

Can't wait for raya!...well technically cant wait for raya weekend! And any deepavali celebrations too! Ladoo and dodol! Aloo ghobi and rendang! oh yeah and some schmoul about forgiveness and thanksgiving.

"the 'reserved' seat with my name on it in hell just moved up to a nicer table.. " myself , random MSN line around 3 in the morning. Dont ask. Seriously.

*ps. Tipah tertipu tertipu tipu tertipah!

*pps. Tipah tertipu lagi!

Karma, parte un

This obviously hasn't really been my week.

Just got outta the kitchen - thought i'd make the sambal udang for the nasi lemak tomorrow while i was cooking sahur so tomorrow can relax a bit. Earlier today already damn semangat go East West to get pandan and the raw prawns. I don't know whether it was because i broke the petua melayu not to cook while you're angry, or the Big Guy was subtly telling me "no, you're not the best goddamn chef in this 'hood, bitch." - but i kena fuck upside down in the kitchen.

Started makin the sambal tumis from scratch as usual la...chucked everything in the blender. Firstly, the goddamn jar of tamarind won't open - bang bang cannot open, held the lid under hot water cannot open also. In the end had to literally cook the screw top on the hob and pry it open using gloves. A fuckin jar of tamarind cost me 10 minutes in the kitchen. Popped open and spilt a fair bit on the floor.

Then, still stressed from that, i put the pot on the fire and put in the oil, taking for granted that it had already been put to dry. It wasnt. MAAAhai hot oil spurting everywhere and the cover was right next to the pan. Had to wait for all the goddamn water to finish popping away.

Halfway through cooking it, tasted damn different. Made it exactly like how i did last summer in london but it tasted fucking diffrent for some reason. So i popped open one of the ready made sambal tumis packs and added it. Nope , still fucked up. Then when i tried to add some salt the whole goddamn tube hancur and a fucking bigass heap of salt fell into the pot. Serious fucking heart pain. After manually gettin all the salt i could out, and diluting the whole pot 3 times over, its still fucked up. Just left it on the stove, and see if i'll just make something else to go with the nasi lemak tomorow. Utter cock.

Still can't shake the background stress from the impending courseworks. Hydro coursework no one's really sure about the constraints of the design, and the Business coursework has us searching high and low for our group leader and me waiting for someone to read their mail. I swear if i didn't let loose at Pure on friday i sure giler already one.

Don't you just hate the tossers who fuckin take up an extra seat on the bus? Some of them sit like they've got a pair of tennis balls in their crotch, some of them blisfully sit on the outer seat, and some nicely park their satchels/bags/shopping on the seat next to them. Extra points for having headphones on, giving you an excuse to blatantly ignore the people staring cock at you while swaying like a monkey on the bars sifting for a seat. I'd hafta say that at least 70% of the time its fuckin asians. Fuck 'em.

Better be gettin some sleep before a helluva packed Sunday. Boohbyee

..of Belief & Buses

My luck/karma/aura or something must be quite the pelik today. In the morning, on the bus to campus this elderly large black woman waddled all the way from the back of the bus to pass me, just me a small, typical Christian tract. Okayla, nothing amazing and just shoved it into my bag without reading any further. Later that night as i was coming back from the gym, another black woman sat next to me la...looks like student..never say anything la. After i got off my stop and walked almost all the way to Broomfield already she ran after me..i ingat apa...then she said-

" Hey i'm the girl who sat next to you on the bus. For some reason i just felt this odd compulsion to tell you that god loves you - remember that. Have a good night!"

My first instinct? Checked my wallet. hahahahaha.

A bit the weird right? Not like i was wearing anything with any anti-religion witty slogans ( shit la shoulda bought the "I've found Jesus - he's behind my couch!" one )or looked suicidal or doing anything else asides from looking like the skema asian student. Maybe its just some evangelists' convention in town. Or maybe its a sign...

*thoughtfully glances upwards and to the side*

Naaahh. No offence to anyone, esp the dude upstairs, but the odds of me converting is a helluva(ironic) lot less than the odds of me denouncing the concept of organized religion at Saint Peter's square ( and to be fair,also in the middle of Masjidil Haram) . I think getting hit by that thing the Pope holds will hurt. Ditto on being stoned by a coupla thousand people.

Anyway gimme a mo' to try and remember where i left off yesterday...

Malaysian rants? Hmmn dont really have that much ( that i can safely blog without the fear of random moustached men escorting me straight from KLIA to the depths of a random disused tin mine ) more on that topic. Except that all the blatant manouvering, politicking and showmanship at MSA's agm, and also the comments on this now rather famous m'sian's blog are disturbingly a rather accurate microcosm of Malaysian politics. Right down to the name calling - actual quotes from the Parliament recently:

"Apek, che tiam tiam"
"You're stupid, you stupid old fool"

I'm not feeling particularly superflous now, especially after a proper battering at the gym today. Therefore, i'm going to present condensed, point versions of the self indulgent, quasi introspective monologues that i planned to pen so long ago. Nope no long-winded, blithering self-loathing here.

-Beauty is something that you're either born with or pay for. Being brainy doesn't mean you're smart. Talent and character is what really defines you - too bad nobody cares.

-Ego is good - well a healthy amount anyway. It helps you bounce from your failures. It keeps you on top of your game.

-A fuckin smile now and then won't kill ya - you actually get better responses from people and better service. Just dont grin like a perv.

-Again, women - stop complaning that chivalry is dead. We're not complaining about not seeing anymore ladies coqquetishly drop lacy handkerchiefs and throwing a cum-hither look behind. Ditto about how we desperately need more of those typical finishing school mistresses who make girls learn to walk with books on their head, not like they're hauling a dead moose back to the cave.

Ah yes our lovely neighbours. Decent looking enough childless couple. They're damn bitchy though. The wife already came over twice to complain about the noise we're making. What noise? She can hear our keyboards, our footsteps when we go downstairs at night. WTF? Okayla fair enough after she complained about that gaming session, we havent had any here since. Man....if we want to have housewarming how ar? Sure they terus complain to student accoms. Puukimak la that woman damn bitchy. Maybe she bitchy cos the husband never screw her enough because they were afraid they'd offend the neighbours. Hell if they can hear me typing, i'm sure we'd hear at least some creaking springs. Haih better bake something for them before we have anymore gatherings in the house. And bring her over to the house up the road with all the india mari indian students. When they have parties you can fucking hear them from hearsall common with their skema club bhangra and 'yaars' and 'teri maas'. Then they'd probably be thankful their student neighbours are nice studious orientals.

Oh yeah played a bit of Black & White 2 recently. Bottom line, you're a god, you can cast spells and do shit over villages you own, and you have a pet creature you can groom into an evil bloodthirsty warrior or a good builder and farmer and all things in between. You're supposed to grow your influence and populace either by waging war to gain territory, or building a chunted enough town to attract people, gaining evil and good points respectively. It's all good fun when you're throwing rocks, meteors and fireballs at soldiers and helpless villagers ( all the way giggling like a sadistic fuck) but then you also have to do stupid shit like throw around barrels across islands to help some fucktard brewers and teach your bloody creature not to poop on people. Mahai that game damn waste life. Hardly any improvements game-wise from the first, moronic AI , crap-ass story. But it sure looked cool tho - and throwing hugeass rocks into villages never gets old.

Well back to work then. Found a perfect site to get info about my hydro coursework buut i have to do a lot of translating from bloody czech. The other bitches on my group had better be doing something as well. My group for our business coursework damn condemn . Any 2 of us bumping into each other on campus can kira group meeting already, and the group leader is super fuckin slack liddat. Seriously feel like mounting a coup if he didnt book a consultancy slot with the lecturer for our group next week for the business idea.

"Nobody will win the battle of the sexes - there is too much fratenizing with the enemy." - Henry Kissinger

I punch the double doors wide open with my two open palms, not letting the weight cut into my arrogant, heel digging haughty stride into the room. Threw off my tan/chestnut leather aviator jacket - left or right? Didnt matter. I just threw it hard. The casters on the aged leather highback chair creaked like many a door before in those b-grade slasher flicks just before some hapless half-naked sorority girl got turned into a colander by a generic masked psycho. I can literally feel the bile coarsing through my fingers. Ironic, how fiery spite and vitriol conveys physically into such an icy tingle.

Fuyoooooo drama or not? Haha Salman Rushdie - go back play play with your trophy wife only laaa....no need to write anymore.

Well thats just how i roughly feel at the moment , getting back into my blog after almost a month of nothing and having soooo much to rant about - with a skosh of film noir and other typically poignant cliches.

First rant? Hmmn its going to be tough without going into specifics. Its the story of the setan betina haram mulut laser - i'm sure those of you who know the story shared a good laugh with me about it. NaaAAbei some people got fantastic imagination mann.....come up with incredible story that flew on the swift wings of gossip all the way to london. Make me stress for fucks only. Nasib baik all the people who mattered knew better. Please lah - we've been doing london for the better part of 4 years....and not like you got much credibility left anyway. Save it on gossiping about people with reputations you can actually scuff la. Membising jerr...

Moving on, Mnite, Msoc.

Decided to re-run for Cultural Officer at the veryyyy last minute at the agm like....2+weeks ago. Made a pig's breakfast of my hastily improvised speech so gerenti hanchur already la. Dahlah tu teruk - hardly any second years showed up, 1st year votes were torn left right center, and the seniors didn't like me very much, duuuh. Wasn't particularly bitter, cos it was a huge weight off my back, and i could easily do more than i did for last year's mnite without even having the post. The new COs -( lets call 'im CO #1 for references' sake) a 2nd year English dude who's a theatre major or something whose qualifiers were a solid theater background ( OBviously) and a gap year spent teaching kids in sar-rare-wark english (eHuk eHuk) & #2, a malay girl who seems like she knows her stuff but made quite an impressive speech. (More on Msoc commitee's past and present later)


So anyway a bit pelik kan , a foreigner as cultural sec. Not being racist or anything, but it juuuust doesn't feel all that right kan? -especially if you're gonna be putting together cultural performances from a multi cultural origin etc etc etc. But he seems to really know his shit so kasi can la...in the spirit of cultural open-mindedness etc.

eEEETt wrong! He announced his idea for the play today at the screening of last year's mnite. He intends to do The Fall of the House of Usher. Those of you who know the story, or at least know the general vein of Edgar Allan Poe's works should be hearing alarm bells. Dark, morbid, depressing stories. Especially this one. I can just see whichever Malaysian VIP storming off in a huff in disagreement with the plays central theme of incest and a bizzare sibling relationship. Just like that LSE msoc/singsoc thing a coupla years back where the play poked at some sensitive malaysia-singapore issues.

Weirdly enough, most of the room seemed quite entranced when he went on about how there was going to be background dancers to portray the haunting of the house, and the use of face painting and elaborate costumes to further portray the twisting madness of the siblings. Later on he said something else about bringing in more warwick theatre people in - well the play only has 3 central roles. HMmmn.....

Don't get me wrong - i'd love to see a classic Poe fleshed out with contemporary theatrics and i do believe this guy can pull this off, BUT i'd love to catch it at a Dram Soc thingy...or the Arts center - not a Malaysian Night. An Mnite should engage the audience and allow them to identify at some level with the characters or story. An Mnite should be about Malaysian culture - society, song or dance. After the generally blase review of last year's play - a piece on stereotypes with an interesting premise but with one too many twists at the end - its obvious that most of an Mnite audience come to be entertained with something they can relate to. Not Shakespeare, not Poe, not Chekov (unless done in an original-besmirching manglish infused zany malaysian style).

So how, CO # 2? still think i should choreograph Bole Chudiyan? Can probably fit in when Madeline 'dies' ...or before the house physically splits in half. Take your pick.

Back to MSA's agm - there was this big hooha about allowing non-malaysians to run for commitee positions, more cos a bruneian was running for pres rather than that guy running for CO. After some big hooha about not being able to find a hard OR soft copy of the constitution, and several clumsily worded majority motions, they finally settled on all the positions being open to non-malaysian members save for the president. Blah blah blah figurehead blah blah blah. Not like our last president was a freakin bastion of leadership and charm. Naaaabeh. Typical skema spineless politician. Actually i dont really have a bone to pick with last year's comm. Except for that little niggle with the prez being a spineless, charmless gorm, and two bitches who chose to personally butt heads with me. Lets go back in time to last year, around mnite

*cheesy chimes sound effect and blur swirl effect*


Bitch A - kejap nak buat this performance, kejap nak buat that dance. cannot decide. Very irritating when i had to confirm numbers and formations. And then sommore nak sibuk sibuk kejap suggest some lameass dikir moves, and then suggest that new move. She can oh do eeEEverything except choose a dance, and do her job properly as props manager. In the end i had to go with some of the dancers to carik constumes and everything. She very smart dah i settle all that at the expense of 2 solid days of sleep she tried and get smart with me. I let her have it there and then sampai lari keluar nangis. Padan muka. Cue a minor ripple of applause from her underlings and other random ppl who thought she was an annoying bitch as well.


Bitch B - also one itchy monkey who cannot stay on her own job as treasurer. Loves to order other comm members around to do random shit. Sibuk sibuk here, sibuk sibuk there. One sterling moment was when i drew silouhettes of the stereotypes in the play to be used for the promo posters and websites - handed them to one of the comm members to setel with the other ppl in charge of the posters. Someeehow the skanky bitch intercepted it, made her own lamer versions and outta the fucking blue the next day i saw the posters with her versions on 'em. And she claimed the whole silouhette thing was her idea. Im sure other comm members have a similar bone to pick with her. To this day when i see her skinny ass in the gym i pray that she falls flat on her face on the treadmill until her already flat face flat sommore. Muka dahlah cam siall.

Think or KNOW you're one of the fuckers i'm blogging about? Well taking a line from the oh so hilarious God-King of Bengs, "Rockson Takumi Tan" -

FUCK YOU UNDERSTAAAND!!

Ahh it feels nice to be back in the " I don't give a damn what you twatheads think anymore" mood. Theres just no point killing yourself being nice to certain people.

Eh i continue next time la - dahlah kesian you all read so long. Sommore i pun dah ngantuk giler nih. Next entry - more malaysian rants, and more thoughts of Amar. Oh yeah and it'll be sooon!

This is MY blog. MY thoughts. MY release. MY therapy. Dont like? Go paint yourself grey and lie down on the fuckin NKVE - or Gibbett Hill Road...mana mana jelar.

Busy, busy, busy...

Balls. Still no internet in the house. On campus now. Serious first week kecoh - so much shit to settle. Can't wait to just cruise down to London and enjoy some shopping. Blergh.

Anyhoo, 157 Broomfield Road is up and running. Dapur dah hangat, bilik dah terabor. Just gotta settle the utility payments, wait for ntl broadband and get a freakin washing machine. Our power bill sure giler bangat, what with 5 computers in a house of 3, and all the shit in the kitchen. First week pun dah super koyak - buying stuff for the house, bas pass, sports fed & gym reg, etc. Pokaiii!!!

Oh yeah - we rented a car Monday to pick up our stuff from campus storage. I can't drive manual for shit anymore - well, it HAs been 5 years...but still....i think i might just enrol for driving school here to brush up...and get a brit license while i'm at it. But sure tak sempat one. Balls.

This very moment? its 11.25 , i'm in the computer lab, and wondering whether to stay here and write a piece or go home and do some housework before my next lect at 2pm. Body in absolute pain - pegi gym yest, where i almost threw up halfway after trying to resume my 1000 calorie workout, and fencing that night - mati mati lawan dengan the new veterans and had drinks with the team afterwards.

Verdict? Lapar. Nak balik. Don't worry you'll still get that piece. Probably gonna be a ramble piece on ego and hypocrisy. Still looking for something to rant about though. Toodles!

Packin's a bitch, ain't it?

Its early Weds morn, and i managed to get a seat on the 2345 flight back down. Well on one hand, i'll arrive in the morning, and can go straight to the uni, get my keys for our crib for the next 9 months and move in straight away. On the other hand, thats gonna be some bitching travelling after a 13 hour flight - not made any easier lugging my bloody desktop around. The next week or so is going to be utter chaos, so dont think there'll be any updates for a while, unless a gorgeous sunrise, a muse or just a combination of insomnia + dead ipod + bad inflight movies inspires me enough to whip out my laptop and write a profound, reflective piece about the last summer. Right now? naaah - still takin my sweeet sweet time to friggin pack.

Also suddenly strangely obsessed with the iPod Nano. Strange, cos when the Mini came out i hardly felt a quibble. Fiddling with a working model at a local apple retailer didn't help tone down my zeal to obtain one either. Do you believe its more expensive here than in UK?

Anyhoo, managed to catch Lionel and charl last Thurs nite for supper at Murni. Area-wide blackout halfway tho - didn't have much confidence in mamak food made in the dark, so we just had drinks before parkin in front of charlotte's house for like...15 mins figuring out what to do. In the end never do anything also.Cheeeebye!

On Friday managed to get out Tai Uei, Aaron, Sze, poco and the kuah out on another alcoholic oddyssey - this time it was at Soda Club at Hartamas. Picked that spot only cos there was no cover charge, and we(okay they) werent really down for clubbing.

Verdict? Price biasa only larr....but all the waitresses are rather hot super ah lians. Goes downhill from there though - the entertainment alternated from a smarmy band that did lotsa pop and even jiwang chinese songs, and a DJ who can't mix to save his life. We all got seats on the balcony/upper flor/whatever, and the view was damn condemn lor....there WERE hot girls, but they just sat quietly with their creepy 'uncle'ish escorts while all the fuckin bengs were on the floor , doing what's best described as the dance scenes in Honey....meets William Hung....meets an epilectic fit. Brr....

Sze and choong got juust a little smashed afterwards, which was even better entertainment. Man if you werent there you wouldn't believe some of the things those two fuggers said....havent reviewed the videos myself hohoho. Aaron 'formerly known as fatty' Choong even poured beer and teh tarik into my wantan mee. Balls , balls indeed.

Topped off Saturday with the official-really-no-kidding final dota sesh of this summer. A bit sad also right? 10 guys on saturday night chalking up a 20$ bill at a cybercafe. As usual i got raped. Probably almost gave bobby and sing 'hamchat' tat a stroke everytime i died. Sorryla horrr i only play this 3 months a year hahahaa.

Funny thing happened over tennis with dead ol' dad on Sunday. Not only did i fuckin thwack myself in the face when my grip slipped on the racket, but i managed to kill a bird with my serve. Hahaha those sparrow swarms are probably kinda used to the grass courts being quite quiet. Until i managed to practice some serves on my farler. Whacked one spot on, but it just crashed, hobbled off and flew off again. Kinda glanced another one, but this poor bastard got bounced off straight into the tennis pavillion wall. PHOKkkk!

Pretty much got nothing else now but a rant on Dell, but dont think you wanna hear that wouldja? Long story short, i told them i was flying Monday and emailed 'em like mad. That got me the laptop Tuesday evening. eeeeeficient no? Like to meet the industry 'expert' who supported Dell's 99% customer satisfaction claim and spit on him until i die of dehydration. Ptuih!

Here's a blog some of you might just find hilarious - Talk Rock - a pretty popular singaporean blog done in the literary style of Beng. I'd bet my last nickel on him being able to actually speak better english than most of us...

Toodles dahlings!

GHOR-geouss. Amazing engineering too. One apparently worked fine after being ran over with a car.

Managed to drag along Charl and Lionel to Janji Joni, along with Daim & Sze for the 6.50 show on Thurs. It wAs rather good wasn't it? Managed to pick up even more jokes and visual subtleties this time as i needn't bother with the subs anymore. Not kidding - seriously go catch it.

Joined ze happy couple and family for dinner later at Chez Pinky. Crabs, crabs, crabs and their Spanish holiday pictures - some real arty shots there, dude! Sempat main congkak also hahaha.

Sohai idiots at Dell. 5-7 working days my ass. Tracked my order made on last friday and it was still at the processing stage- still pre-prod, kitting, building and testing to go. The Dell rep said that there was some problems with the Amex payment, but then i checked with Amex and there was no attempt at such transactions. I reverified the payment details with Dell and they all checked out. Probably some asswipe in Finance forgot to put my payment through because he was busy thinking about his WoW character. Seriously gotta sound those bitches again tomorrow.

Met up with Naz, Puts & Su, then went off to have dinner at Muhibbah ( yummy! ) followed by lin chee kang, satay and shisha at rhasta. As usual, slowly wobbled into deep discussions on courting and relationships after the compulsory bitching about some random guy that i'm just hella glad isnt me. That and the fact Su likes stabbing onions when she has to tahan going to the ladies'..hor hor hor.

Conventions of Complexity

The Game, The Chase, The Project or whatever you call it, has obviously evolved over the ages - and just gotten more fucked up. Lets go with an example of a discussion on said topic.

Disclaimer: following discussion and related rant is a purely mentally generated simulation based on the tenets of most common arguments/discussions based on input data from many , many past conversations. Suffice to say, this is more for entertainment rather than serious thought , and in no way biographical - im sure many of you can relate.

1. Women say chivalry is dead , along with romance in a double homicide.
2. The men's rebuttal is that its hard to be all that, with women becoming 'empowered' and all and just taking what they want as a result of feminism and equality using their feminine wiles. Basically they're just saying women aren't really that innocent & ladylike anymore, thus not being deserving of over-the-top gentlemanliness.
3. The women come back with the fact that they have to use what they have to even the playing field in terms of career potential in what is still a male dominated business world, and more importantly, get back at the men who play for sport, thusly throwing the blame back at the men.
4. Suddenly the men pull a vunerablity card, saying that women also cause their fair, if not more, share of heartbreak and lovelorn men who go on to do stupid things like commit suicide, or god forbid, pen awful songs of undying dedication and love.

Repeat various permutations and variations of 1-4, until we have a stalemate and everyone shuts up, all grumpy and shit. The next day, boyfriends buy flowers, and husbands buy jewelry. Which makes no sense, as usually only single people engage in such discussions. Couples in the company or vicinity of such exchanges usually slink away or form that impenetrable bubble of couplyness.

Still on a related note, our generation's a helluva lot more connected than our parents - handphones enable a lot more private conversations, email and MSN combine with SMS to enable gossip to spread around the world at ridiculous speeds. Gossip, bitching, and stories that are bound to evolve at every point of transfer, possibly turning from an impressive story to an incriminating one.

How that hooks up to the previous subject? While knowledge is power, too much of it just fucks things up. Anyone spends too much time with anybody else of the opposite sex, rumours start flying all over the fuckin world which screws things up either way : if they're seriously just friends, one or both might get paranoid and defensive, and if one is seriously going after the other, a bit faktap jugak kan?

Is all this super gossip sabotageness bitchifying thing an inherently Malaysian thing? Human nature should logically dictate not, but you just can't help but feel outta your own observation or some subconcious prejudice that it has to vary between racial or class groups( or certain schools/colleges for that matter) . Maybe its just the particular groups of people. Whatever. At the end of the day, hypocrites and haters are just everywhere, and the most dangerous ones are the ones that are actually nice to you to your face. People who are so fucked up and bitter that they have to find someone's parade to rain on just to feel better about their miserable, repressed lives. Well you might say this doesn't apply when the subject of bitching is himself or herself a primo grando bitch/bastard , but then again, being completely subjective, they're always two sides to every story innit?

Wouldn't it be nice to go back to the way things were. Nope, i'm not talking about the sepia-toned innocence of our grandparents generation. I'm not talking about medieval tales of knights and damsels either. I'm talking mammoth hunts and stone spears. Societal and gender roles couldn't be simpler back then. No nightmarish web of social status and interactions, no technology so that people expect things there and then. No bitching behing each others back - you have problem with Ugg, take club, deck Ugg. If Trogg can!(or better yet, grunt urg grungt Ugg- growwlll...cant have much gossip when your vocab is just 10 different grunts, and gestures kan?). Just homo sapiens sapiens living off the earth by his instincts. Where men are happy to hunt and women take care of the young without complain, just as we were physiologically and psychologically tailored for by the big guy( or girl, or omnipotent genderless creator being, whatever)up there. I'm sure no one can argue with that.