Saturday, December 10, 2005

Listening to : Unstoppable - The Calling
Feeling : Depr...i mean....euphorically challenged

Its that time again - looming deadlines ( yes in the freaking middle of the holidays - screw you carbon footprint assignment ) and one helluva messed up biological clock. What else to do when all other options for procrastinating are gone ? Blog onlyyy.....

Its been a while, so here are the bullet point updates :

Capped off the end of term last week with chinese buffet at Wing Wah. Ate lots. All the women coincidentally wore black. Hilarious karaoke session. After that no one had anymore chutzpah to hit the end of term party. Except yours truly who wasnt going alone. Still amped and dying to party, so obviously damn tak puas.

Fine i know its boring to read - sorryla damn tulan already...lemme jazz it up a little.

Jeesus abdul CHRIST it's been a boring fucking week since the end of term . Easily the most boring end of term i have ever bloody had since...EVER! Freakin-a man.... hardly anyone's left around in town, and i can't leave cos i'm still waitin for my accoms claims cash and cos of that Monday deadline. The last week's pretty much been nothing but gym, sleeping, workin ( not quite enough ) and Civ 4. Thats just fuckin sad.

Imma cut myself off right there before this gets anywhere close to one of those whiny, moaning self pitying blogs i hate oh-so-much. But yeah all in summary - between all the holiday assignments, waiting for mah monnayyy, mind numbing inactivity, severe lack of sunlight hours, tryin to get summer internship applications together everything's just a fucking lovely floral arrangement of fresh banksias from africa and italian mimosas in the window of the florists' at Libertys. eeERRgh.

A quick pick-me-up before anything else - two half -decent jokes that i recently read that i actually havent heard before -

#1

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast and screams, then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more agony. She pushes her knee and screams; likewise she pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she says, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."

#2

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. "How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun? !What is a golf gun?" "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."



Cooool leh? Expect more touches like this in the coming month. Prolly even do my own layout in Dreamweaver when i figure out how to use my own templates in blogger.

Disclaimer: well more like a waiver. I'm too zonked to write this from an ambigous standpoint,being somewhat of a consumer whore myself , so if at any point during this rant i start sounding hypocritical to you, take both your thumbs, put 'em in your noses and start doing jumping jacks.

Anyhoo

Haih...what else can i say about the infamous ' ear squat video' thats not been said. From the obviously exaggerated BBC / CNN reports, personal thoughts of other bloggers north and south of the johor straits ( some of them quite hilarious, if not misguided) to the oh-so Malaysian reports in the goddamn Malaysian papers, complete with the blatantly posed pictures with our MPs viewing the video on their colleagues' laptops with their dramatic finger pointing and aghast expressions. Eeeverything about the whole mess is sooo fucked up - the fucktard who took the video, the profiling of chinese tourists, the blowhards in parliament and the lambasting of the government as a whole by foreign media. I wouldn't touch on this anymore as much as i'd like to touch a decomposing leper with a stick.

Now i'm gonna bitch on just one of the many aspects i hate about the tasteless rich ( especially those goddamn rappers , trashy celebrities and 'new money') - the Brashness of Bling - vulgar, obscene, needless displays of wealth.

No single demographic has been responsible for glorifying bling as much as hip-hoppers/rappers to the point that i believe they're entitled a little paragraph of their own. Instead of going blablaba Cristal blablabla rims blablabla i'm just gonna smack on Wikipedia's take on it which is sooo to the point:

"Mainstream hip hop music's fixation on bling bling and other material and luxury goods has led to much criticism from media pundits and musical critics. They charge that the phenomenon promotes consumerism and materialism, and strengthens false racist arguments that young African American men are incapable of higher or more virtuous or spiritual goals than material gain, reinforing the "nigger rich" stereotype.

Like, seriously. What the fuck is up with 24 inch spinners on wheels? Velvet covered chairs with gold trimmings that are a pain to sit in? Enough bracelets to turn a walk into a bicep curl session? Ludicruously outsized hernia inducing necklaces that cost the GDP of a small African nation?

No single demographic has been responsible for glorifying bling as much as hip-hoppers/rappers.

Whatever happened to being subtle ? There ARE bloody loaded people who somehow manage to enjoy their wealth in low key without turning heads or bloody blinding people. Say, for example spending just as much on an architect and interior designer on actually building that dream crib instead of throwing a gob of money at a second rate contractor to build a monstrosity of a domicle that makes you feel like you're in an antique furniture showroom. Or wearing immaculately tailored clothes that make you look and feel good, not like a Blacksploitation-era pimp or a whore who puts on her makeup in the dark with her foot. Just goes to show that no matter how rich you are, sometimes you just can't buy class.

Chavs with their Burberry. Ah lians with their Gucci, Prada and Fendi. Fake or real, it doesn't matter. Trashhhyyyyy!! Take this for an example:


A Jacob & Co( a firm favourite of rappers) number splattered with ice vs a Lange. Bling vs Blank. Which one wouldja rather have hmmn? Would you believe me if i told you the one on the right cost more? Yep it does. Well maybe not for this diamond bucket but for a typical Jacob.

At the end of the day a watch is for tellin time, isn't it? I'd rather have an simple, legible dial with a rock solid movement instead of something that will probabably blind you when you look at it in the sun and breaks down after a coupla jigs.

THATs quality craftsmanship. Imagine the skill and artistry that goes into the tourbillon and escapement. Beats covering a watch with diamonds anyday. Plus, you're a lot less likely to get mugged , yesno?

Don't ask - i have nooo idea why i decided to do an example with watches. Puttin up photos of houses is just stupid, and it wouldnt be quite *right* if i started discussing handbags and accessories on this site , no? * grunt grunt *

Well, as hard as is to believe, i will be gettin back to work now. oh and i'd just DIE if someone were to get me a Lange for xMas. Anyone? I'm sorray, but i'd need that money to buy a freakin HOUSE first. oooh ooh how about a hot 40 something minted professional of a sugar momma who'd get me one?

Like, wok-eva yeah?

" You can't say chastity without 'ass' or 'titty' , can you? "

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