Feelin : *yawwwn*
Listening to : i'm glad there is you - Jamie Cullum

Phoaar damn syiok - just added a whole whack of yummy albums to my playlist - Daniel Powter ( think half Will Young, half James Blunt) , The Darkness, more Coltrane, Keith Urban, Faith Hill, Marcell ( the indon one) , Robbie Williams and Westlife. If you could somehow take cocaine through your ears, it still wouldnt match the aural bliss im wallowing in. (I'm just guessin here, okay!)

..before i forget, a quote by the housie downstairs on morning breath problems:
" Solve it with...chewing GiM!!" * enthusiastic kitschy pose*
** no its not a typo

...no, but yeah, like, somefink...

Just recovered from a tiring but stupidly fun weekend at Notts - Naz's birthday soiree. I'm sure she never saw the skit - and especially the birthday song - coming. Props to Su for coming up with the script thats so hilariously sakit otak and Puteri & Elle for the birthday dance. You could almost smell the redneckness & the moonshine-stained dungarees. I can't take the credit for the dinner either - i did have a bevy of gourgeous executive kitchen assistants kan? And of course the birthday girl herself for hosting the whole shebang. BUt seriously, bruschetta, pasta and chocolate fondue is so salah for breakfast, okay?

A bunch of hilarious quotes hidden in a bowl of fruity goodness.

Oh yeah, krispy kreme for whoever describes that sound i made sleeping in the most hilarious way. Serious i tak percaya. Now excuse me while i take another shower to try and wash off all that oestrogen.

Singsoc Xmas dinner

The Singsoc Christmas dinner was excellent. I'd say the 12 pounds covered the food , goodies and the entertainment, but seeing our own Wavey in the blindfolded dancing game alone was bloody well worth it. Along with all the squeaky laughter afterwards - inhaling that much helium can't be good forya.

Haven't had such a traditionally English xmas dinner since Oundle. Down to the xmas crackers and those doofy paper hats. The only thing was that they substituted brussels sprouts with long beans.

Wavey enjoying his food, perhaps a little too much.

No, i dont think Taib's gonna give up his spinny whistly thing.

Okay kids thats it for show and tell time.

Actually i think i had quite a bit to rant about - lotsa personal views on some really fucked up things about Malaysian politics, religion and the justice system. Luckily, i got it all off my chest by "discussing" on MSN ( you know who you are , word!) , sparing me another whole bunch of typing and bringing up sensitive issues that might just rub some of you guys the wrong way - well that and the ever present possibility of (yes i know i used this before) having some bored ass government servant/jakim lackey that didn't even pass PMR tell on me after coming across my little online spitting room on their 5th tea break of the day and having "plain clothes" police ( think checkered cheap shirts tucked into cheap faded jeans , with a cheap baseball cap and cheap handlebar moustache) drag me off straight from KLIA to a disused tin mine for a 'chat'.

Hence, here's a safe, family friendly ( okay maybe not the swearing) rant.

Archeology + Hollywood = Adventure + Bullshit

Just watched the myth a coupla weeks ago. Yeah the effects are good and all for a Jacky Chan movie, but like other English Jacky Chan movies (probably save for Rush Hour) the story stank worse than a dead vegas hooker whose been rotting in a dumpster for a summer week. Its like they hired a trained ( dubious) monkey to hammer out the script. C'mon - anti gravity ore, a korean concubine, and a mongolian general who for some reason ends up buried in an indian temple in a floating sarchophagus suspended by aforementioned ore. I can't be the only one who thought the movie took a bit of a piss at indians too.

In the end they find the mythical tomb of the first emperor of China. They kept to the myth of having a roof inset with jewels to mirror the stars, and a minature of the whole of china with rivers that flowed mercury. Only they decided to have everything suspended in zero grav. Seriously. WTF.

I'd hate to have be the sad git who'd have to dust the damn place.

Also, in the end, just like every other movie where the protagonist goes through a life-threatening series of misadventures , close calls and femme fatales to find some long lost tomb, cache of treasure or artifact of god-like powers some numbnut manages to find the compulsory self destruct trigger , everything goes fuckall and the hero escapes alone or with a random ditzy chick and the villian dies chasing the treasure. Dahling thats sooo Indiana Jones - or The Mummy....or King Solomon's Mines...hell even The goddamned Goonies.

Don't touch anything. Yeah right.

Makes absolutely no sense doesnt it? Imagine Shih Huang Ti sayin this:

Emperor: I want an amazing tomb, filled with all my treasures, possessions, and battalions of terracotta guards.

Underlings: Yes my liege.

Emperor: I want it to also be a monument to my greatness and dominion in my reign - i know! Mirror the skies with precious stones and the rivers that feed the land with quicksilver! Of course the artisans will have to be killed so they can never replicate that glory.

Underlings: I....guess... we can do that..

Emperor: Oooh ooh i know and then we can hide it where nobody will ever bloody find it!

Underlings: [silence]

Emperor: And in the unlikely event that someone finds it, we'll have deviously engineered death traps!

Underlings: *whispers* i think he's losing it.

Emperor: If some hero manages to set foot in my tomb or touches anything, everything will just get all fucked up! Boom! Blam! Aieee!! *throws hands in the air*

Underlings: ............

But of course, thats all just in the movies. Real archeology is super boring bullshit that takes painfully long hours dusting buildings with paintbrushes , months of detective work in pallid, obscure libraries and massive bureucracy and politicking over discovery rights - look at the Elgin Marbles. You never know tho...some unwitting archeology grad might just step on the wrong floor tile at the Terracotta warrior complex and have the whole place crumble into a big heap of char siew. Or maybe that fat falafel scarfing liar Zahi Hawass(egyptian director of antiquities) will open the wrong tunnel in the Great Pyramid and unleash a plague that will scour the earth. A proper "boils and pustules" plague, not just a throng of fashion victim hongkeys with unbelievably annoying accents.



Whichever pharoah( still under debate) who build the pyramids has got the right idea tho. Imagine having a sweet tomb like that. Too bad the stripped down the original white limestone cover stones to build freakin Cairo and melted down the massive gold apex to make fuck knows what. But of course there are those crazies who still say that the pyramids were build by aliens or some older civilization ( maybe i'll bore you with all my pre-flood civilization stories another day) as some kind of transmitter or beacon or geometrical message.

But fuck that. I have greater worries now. Like my Carbon footprint coursework...and getting the irritatingly happy and catchy Westlife song ( Change Your Mind) outta my head. I'm gonna top this one off with the chorus from that Jamie Cullum song - seriously babes that song is soo good. And in case you were psychoanalyzing or thinking that i'm scandaliciously head over heels or anything of the sort, i'm not, mkays. I just like that song SOOO much.

in this world of ordinary people...
extraordinary people,
i'm glad there is you

in this world of overrated pleasures
and underrated treasures,
i'm glad there is you.

Listening to: Fiesta Mojo - Dizzy Gillespie ( makes you feel like you're having a cheery stroll thru a colourful carribean beachside market)
Feelin: overloaded yet strangely unworried

Booyaah!

I vaguely remember havin something to rant about, but i'm not really in a ranty mood today. Massive "To-Do" list and i'm still comin down from that cold-should be totally gone in a day or two.

Oh yeah - just googled my blog for fucks again the other day, and found a coupla of interesting things. Firstly, my blog was quoted for somethin on some feminist's blog - don't know for what tho - scary. Also, my rant a coupla months ago on Microsoft screwing over gamers who kept using Windows just for games by making so many good new games XBox exclusives got reprinted on some random gaming site. Fuyooo.... maybe if i kept my rants in full English god knows where they'll end up..

On that note, i've been randomly skimming my older entries and i realized that the standard of my writing has kinda dropped - chiefly through the usage of my extremely rusty slang malay and the overuse of random hokkien/cantonese swear words. I've also been relying too much on my super-random analogies and hyperbole instead of proper, witty writing. Apologies to you folks from down south who don't understand malay ( and some of you from the land of no-we-still-dont-have-to-recycle-our-piss yet, hmmn?)

This time its gonna be another typical update, but with more pictures! Yay!(cheer and clap a little bitches - it wont killya)


X-Raya-Vali

The new commitee did rather a good job on this years xrayavali - altho they were missing the skit, the extra bits of caroling , nasyid and charity did kinda make up for it. They didn't do too badly on the charity either, considering that there was nobody to dropoff 200 pounds just like that like last year - although i'm sure that stupid 4 positions game thing was rigged. Hmmph.

The slave auction was quite hot. Our house shared ( still havent settled on who's payin how much) on a winning bid (66 pounds) for a pair of fresher girls. Haih get them to wash plates once enough already lah. Kan its for charityyyyy (cringes as amar projects what he could have bought with his share). Hope i didn't rosakkan my reputation by being the one bidding - later for fucks all freshers think i'm a rich perv.

....i'm not rich.Heh.

Looked around for some pics from that to pose, but they all sucked (i.e. i wasnt in, or i looked fat/more camp than usual) Here's one anyway:


Oh yeah here's a tip for you guys. When you're tired and just crashing watching TV at Charl's place, do not play with any stuffed toys given to you. You'll fall asleep holding it , someone will take a picture, and she'll post it on her blog. Grr. Girllll you gotta start watchin what you pun on there!
Can't see? Can't see? FINE


Haha take THAT charl!

Of course in response to this malu-fying emasculation i have to post something that somewhat redeems my defiant male ego.


The Bugatti Veyron....sweet eh? This insane car's actually going into production with the 16.4 model. The engine's a double V8 that churns out 1001 bloody BHP. The speed actually has to be limited around 405kmph because thats as much as the transmission and body can take - makes even an Enzo look like one of those stupid electric 1/10th scales your baby cousin drives hmmn? Definitely for you if you got a spare 500k pounds and know an oil sheik...or Bruneian royalty cos you gonna burn a full tank getting stuck in KL traffic for an hour. I love the design so much i actually based my car design prototype and sculpture last year on the profile.

Also took apart my desktop piece by piece except for the thermal compounded bits and dusted everything cos the fans were already making dust clicks. With the 8 fans inside its a bloody dust trap i tellya. Had to actually vacuum and sinks and all the fans. Took the chance to rearrange some of the wiring and shift the hds around for better airflow. Naturally after that played again with the possibility of water cooling everything and pimpin up the case as well buuut wasting money onlyyy....

Oh yeah and i cut myself shaving the other day yes i know that happens like once a year...

Aand...i cut and burnt myself...working in the kitchen making a thyme and rosemary roast

So yeah....*grunt grunt grunt*

Lets finish with two quotes i remember from XRV yesterday:
"Pukimak halal!!" - not me
"You know , actually you're quite hot. Just dont open your mouth." - again, not me

And random thought of the day:
Men - be it your mother, sister, friend or lover - at any given time a woman's either judging you, or testing you.
Women - somewhere out there at this very moment a bunch of guys is referring to you by a physical trait(s) or a perceived character quirk , and its not because they forgot your name.

Feeling: just a touch under the weather * snrrkkkkttTCHOO!*
Listening to : too much jiwangness. gerenti sakit

Purely Procrastination

It's been a boring ass weekend. Going to notts would've been just as boring,(not like you were at any of the events, were you naz? thatswhyyyy) except i woulda had to throw away more money and get on a freakin bus - oh yeah and there is Nottingham weather which is a bit more faktap than here.

Went to gym saturday to try and work off this goddamn flu, and when i took the bus back kena stress for fucks sommore. Six people sitting in one bunch, on the aisle seats with their bags on the window seat. On a full bus, no less. These people should be sterilized with a rusty butter knife i tell you.

Oooh here's a random little joke that got me laughing balls at 3 in the morn:

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"

The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"

The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

And you just HAVE to look at these ads from here and here. Don't say i didn't warn you.

Oh wait...i really didnt...

Anatamo watashimo POCKY!!!

Feelin: muscle aches galore (back to hardcore gymming baybehh), mild bitchiness

Listening to: Can I Have It Like That - Pharell ft. Gwen Stefani

Man that song is catchy, but whatever they paid Gwen, it was too much - cmon she just said 5 freakin words and appeared a bit in the video. Also in heavy rotation on my playlist : Madonna's Hung Up,(daaamn power dancing) B.E.P's My Humps , Alicia Keys unplugged, the new Jamie Cullum album & Anuar Zain yesiknowjiwangshutthefuckup.....

*clears throat*

Haih lets settle the boring shit before i get on to the rants... and oh yeah and the bit on raya + photos is at the veeeeeery end - kalau memang malas baca skip onlyy....

Sangheeta led a whole whack of us for a deepavali night dinner at an indian palace in town. Forgot the name of the place, but remember one thing - they may have had a fuckload of original, tasty dishes, but they didnt.have.fuckin.lassi. How can an indian place not have lassi? rrrgh. The goddamned drizzle didnt stop us from setting off fireworks later at hearsall common. Magnificent sight i tell you - a posse of somewhat damp 20+ year old uni students, running away like bitches from roman candles that couldnt kill a fly.

The supposed brainstorming for Mnite? More like a " lets shoot down the kwai lou Cultural Officer's idea like the crows outside Jasima/Rhasta " session. True, i was against the idea from the onset because an Edgar Allan Poe play ( even the Bergkoff version) , no matter how much you try and dress it down is still just wrong - but once the pres started to comment about the fact that it *might* not be the most suitable idea, it was open season. Some of the criticism was juuust a little bit too personal. I'd be pretty smashed too if everyone was soo enthusiastic ( albeit clueless) in the beginning and completely did a 180 later on. Hope he does go on doing the workshops and directing the play ( recently confirmed as a super typical formulaic Mnite love story - hey if it aint broke, don't fix it!).

So much for bullet point updates. Now for the ReAL rants.

En Garde, pret, Alle!

From Oundle to Imperial, most of the people who fenced were quite serious about it - well i'm sure you have to to have endured all that strict salle style training ( the rotund, mutton chop-sideburned coach in Oundle actually freakin taped the foil pommel to my wrist and made me play stricly defensively for 2 weeks because i played too much offense ) and hardcore footwork drills. Sommore out of the fencers in IC quite a lot of the non-novices have been doing it for ages....got 1 feller who used to be on the UK under 16 team, some hongkeys who also did serious training in Brit boarding schools, and even a Singaporean from Raffles Junior *koff* who had massive Raffles logo on the back of his jacket.Haih. Generally most of the kuai lous who fence are also a bit the posh ppl who come from boarding schools as well( yes Puteri baru you tauu...)

Warwick's a different story though. For some reason, a lot of people randomly join fencing for fucks, and a lot of them quite condemn lor... Seriously - i'm not just being mean( like i usually give a damn when i am) but its like most of the people who join fencing here are:

1. Physically uncoordinated & incapable of other sports, and were lured by the tagline where fencing's described as " chess with brawns". Normally they don't stay on very long when they discover its in fact, like playing squash - Wearing thick, heavy jackets - and you hit each other-Hard. You need to move fast, and your legs need to do weird things. Oh yeah and being a fatass makes you soo much easier to hit too.

Yup we do shit like this all the time. Don't mess.

2. Sad loser type people who try to make up for their social inadequacies and general ineffectiveness by joining things where they think they can live out their empowering warrior fantasies ( battle renactment society, kendo, fencing, etc ) , not realizing that if they DID live in "the good old days" they wouldn't have had the balls and drive to rise above being peasants or stable bitches. Whatever they join, they just do it poorly and then bitch and moan about how they would have been "someone" in those "good old days".


3. People who find obscure sports to join, for the sole purpose of mucking about and running uncontested for the exec. comm of the sport. I swear - outside of the Mens' and Womens' captains, all the comm members hardly fence at all. And when they do, they realized quickly why they dont.

With all these idiots filling up the spots in the soc, the hall can be a bit too crowded sometimes to have proper bouts on the electric pistes, and the coach is usually too busy with novices to polish up the vets. With that in mind, the vets are getting a bit of a raw deal, arent they? We pay 20quid a term for coaching and kit, while we get very little coaching, and we mostly have our own kit. Balls i say.

The other day ran into a prefect example of #2. Kept following whoever he fought around the hall going on and on about himself and all the other "warriorlike" shit that he does. Yup i kena also. He keeps doing this damn cheap thing where he just slides the weapon tip along the floor like a broom and goes for your toes ( yup, epeeist). It wouldn't work on a proper insulated piste - if you hit the floor its an off-target , and well, its just that NOBODY DOES THAT. Mahai like youla Wave, play tekken all the way block and low kick only hahahaha. And that sohai still wonders why all the vets he fenced goes out juuust that extra mile to actually injure him. Haha he couldn't even take the hint when i played extra ganas so i just capped him right in the knee. Padan muka. Just like the hongkey who kept fouling and hitting my leg ( pain weii) so i charged him, purposely missed and knocked the mo'fucker down with the guard to his face- and the best part was i didn't even get fouled/carded for that. Muahaha.

I love fencing. What other sport gives you a good workout and stress relief in one shot. Cmon - give me another sport where you hit people with metal sticks for points.

More snippy, less talky...


Got a haircut at Toni & Guy the other day. After goin to several different T&Gs over the last coupla years, i've realised that they have a pretty much preset guideline of questions to ask to initiate typical hairdresser banter, which makes it even more annoying. I don't go to T&Gs to talk fluff with peroxide blondes with too much makeup or have a shampoo with all the theraputic finesse of an electric parut kelapa ( even the paria chinese barber i used to go to with me old man last time gave yummy head.....waiit for it...... massages with the shampooing) - i go to get a half decent haircut. Next time i'm just gonna bring out a printout of my Friendster page, shove it to my stylist and tell her to only open her mouth if its about my hair. Of course, if i REALly did that she'd probably botch up my cut on purpose and i could end up looking like a hongkey...the horrOR!! *yes Jac blah blah singaporean blah blah*

i could have sworn i have one more rant left....its just as well i dont remember it now. Another day, perhaps.

Raya was t3h R0x0rZ

Yup - raya this year was ser-weet. First of all, thanks to The House of Charl for puttin me up for the weekend again! Next time i cook for you all, mmkays? - well after another round at Addies and Masala Zone, that is.

On saturday, pretty much spent the whole afternoon at Tuan Syed's open house. SUPER yummy home cooked food - and biscuits and cakes as well! Semakin popular wei..haha every year got more non-scholars datang - must be the cornflake biscuits hmmn? Oh yeah and sorrraay Su and Puts for being schoooo late - at least i can blame 20 mins of it on that goddamned picaddily line delay.

On Sunday a bunch of us crashed the Brunei high comm and ate our fill ( the food was serious sedap porno giler - THREE types of rice....THREE!!..and the lamb!!!) before faffing off to the MSD do in some random hall near Whiteleys. Nasib baik we already kenyang - we arrived just about 3 hours into the thing, and the rice was gone - just really bad ayam masak merah and dhall. Sommore we heard earlier on because of the health and safety regs of the place, they had bouncers to stop people from coming in and also ask people to leave. Rosak giler man the raya mood. Brunei high comm meriah giler - almost everyone was in raya finery, and there was raya music, and it was a very warm cosy place. Total opposite at the malaysia hall do. At least jumpa orang laa....

Eh i'm damn cock tired la....i'll just whack up the photos and call it a day, okay? Peace out , much love ( esp if you've read EVERYTHING).

eeeeee malunyeer...wAIT who's hand was that?

If it isn't my darling neph..niece and fellow Oundelian!!

Aaaaawwww...

Oh shit Malaysians! Hide the food bah!Cempakan's fo' lifeThe lads ngan Tuan SyedLe Femmes, + kerol saja nak kacau.A-Levels/BTU 2001 - Full time scholars, part time poseurs.

Selamat Hari Raya!!!!!

Just a brief seasons' greetings and shoutout - Maaf zahir & batin to all you gheourr-geus folks!

Anyway, seriously, i humbly beseech your forgiveness for aaany slips of the tongue and anytime i've accidentally dissed or pissed any of you - i'm sure you know how sharp my tongue is and how my mouth is like...overclocked relative to my brain.

To all my dear beloved chummies and family -
* Amar in his shiny new grey tan baju melayu and black songket, bowing and salam cam budak baik*
Where the flaming fuck am i going to find palm fronds here? and bamboo?

Actually i got a coupla more things to blog about, but my schedule is kinda the faktap at the moment, but when i'm rushing to finish some work before i dart off to London for some serious rayaing i'm bound to suddenly click on the "Blogger Home" tab on my Mozilla and start vomiting nouns, verbs, adverbs, superlatives and the like ( and the regular dash of cursing that'll make an old salt of a captain proud). Stay tuned for updates & rants on our DeepaRaya dinner, fireworks , observations on fencers and the warwick MSA mNite brainstorming sesh!

* goes back to enjoying his first breakfast in a month, over looping raya songs*