Its that time of the year again...


..where blogging becomes my poison of choice for procrastination on those dreary deadline-laden late nights/early mornings. Not only that, i'm falling back into friendster as well - i'm *this* close to sending out a whole whack of raya greetings and new testimonials ( and freaking out over the interesting assortment of characters that viewed my profile - to think those are the ones that you can see - saying nothing of the phantom stalkers)

Right now? I'm still working on getting that stupid song Tipah Tertipu outta my head, while pludging through that damned Hydro coursework and also my German assignment for tomorr...make that 5 1/2 hours. Yep - already on form. All this while running up and down the stairs like hamster high on caffeine to grab the periodic snack despite having a fuckin cornucopia of junk food in my room. HAhaha MSN isnt helping much either. Ballcocks.

Oh yeah stumbled into this as well. I've always been one to piss on horoscopes and astrology, but this was rather interesting. If you're feeling equally procrastinatious (grammar police, sod off) go ahead and see how much you agree....

Can't wait for raya!...well technically cant wait for raya weekend! And any deepavali celebrations too! Ladoo and dodol! Aloo ghobi and rendang! oh yeah and some schmoul about forgiveness and thanksgiving.

"the 'reserved' seat with my name on it in hell just moved up to a nicer table.. " myself , random MSN line around 3 in the morning. Dont ask. Seriously.

*ps. Tipah tertipu tertipu tipu tertipah!

*pps. Tipah tertipu lagi!

Karma, parte un

This obviously hasn't really been my week.

Just got outta the kitchen - thought i'd make the sambal udang for the nasi lemak tomorrow while i was cooking sahur so tomorrow can relax a bit. Earlier today already damn semangat go East West to get pandan and the raw prawns. I don't know whether it was because i broke the petua melayu not to cook while you're angry, or the Big Guy was subtly telling me "no, you're not the best goddamn chef in this 'hood, bitch." - but i kena fuck upside down in the kitchen.

Started makin the sambal tumis from scratch as usual la...chucked everything in the blender. Firstly, the goddamn jar of tamarind won't open - bang bang cannot open, held the lid under hot water cannot open also. In the end had to literally cook the screw top on the hob and pry it open using gloves. A fuckin jar of tamarind cost me 10 minutes in the kitchen. Popped open and spilt a fair bit on the floor.

Then, still stressed from that, i put the pot on the fire and put in the oil, taking for granted that it had already been put to dry. It wasnt. MAAAhai hot oil spurting everywhere and the cover was right next to the pan. Had to wait for all the goddamn water to finish popping away.

Halfway through cooking it, tasted damn different. Made it exactly like how i did last summer in london but it tasted fucking diffrent for some reason. So i popped open one of the ready made sambal tumis packs and added it. Nope , still fucked up. Then when i tried to add some salt the whole goddamn tube hancur and a fucking bigass heap of salt fell into the pot. Serious fucking heart pain. After manually gettin all the salt i could out, and diluting the whole pot 3 times over, its still fucked up. Just left it on the stove, and see if i'll just make something else to go with the nasi lemak tomorow. Utter cock.

Still can't shake the background stress from the impending courseworks. Hydro coursework no one's really sure about the constraints of the design, and the Business coursework has us searching high and low for our group leader and me waiting for someone to read their mail. I swear if i didn't let loose at Pure on friday i sure giler already one.

Don't you just hate the tossers who fuckin take up an extra seat on the bus? Some of them sit like they've got a pair of tennis balls in their crotch, some of them blisfully sit on the outer seat, and some nicely park their satchels/bags/shopping on the seat next to them. Extra points for having headphones on, giving you an excuse to blatantly ignore the people staring cock at you while swaying like a monkey on the bars sifting for a seat. I'd hafta say that at least 70% of the time its fuckin asians. Fuck 'em.

Better be gettin some sleep before a helluva packed Sunday. Boohbyee

..of Belief & Buses

My luck/karma/aura or something must be quite the pelik today. In the morning, on the bus to campus this elderly large black woman waddled all the way from the back of the bus to pass me, just me a small, typical Christian tract. Okayla, nothing amazing and just shoved it into my bag without reading any further. Later that night as i was coming back from the gym, another black woman sat next to me la...looks like student..never say anything la. After i got off my stop and walked almost all the way to Broomfield already she ran after me..i ingat apa...then she said-

" Hey i'm the girl who sat next to you on the bus. For some reason i just felt this odd compulsion to tell you that god loves you - remember that. Have a good night!"

My first instinct? Checked my wallet. hahahahaha.

A bit the weird right? Not like i was wearing anything with any anti-religion witty slogans ( shit la shoulda bought the "I've found Jesus - he's behind my couch!" one )or looked suicidal or doing anything else asides from looking like the skema asian student. Maybe its just some evangelists' convention in town. Or maybe its a sign...

*thoughtfully glances upwards and to the side*

Naaahh. No offence to anyone, esp the dude upstairs, but the odds of me converting is a helluva(ironic) lot less than the odds of me denouncing the concept of organized religion at Saint Peter's square ( and to be fair,also in the middle of Masjidil Haram) . I think getting hit by that thing the Pope holds will hurt. Ditto on being stoned by a coupla thousand people.

Anyway gimme a mo' to try and remember where i left off yesterday...

Malaysian rants? Hmmn dont really have that much ( that i can safely blog without the fear of random moustached men escorting me straight from KLIA to the depths of a random disused tin mine ) more on that topic. Except that all the blatant manouvering, politicking and showmanship at MSA's agm, and also the comments on this now rather famous m'sian's blog are disturbingly a rather accurate microcosm of Malaysian politics. Right down to the name calling - actual quotes from the Parliament recently:

"Apek, che tiam tiam"
"You're stupid, you stupid old fool"

I'm not feeling particularly superflous now, especially after a proper battering at the gym today. Therefore, i'm going to present condensed, point versions of the self indulgent, quasi introspective monologues that i planned to pen so long ago. Nope no long-winded, blithering self-loathing here.

-Beauty is something that you're either born with or pay for. Being brainy doesn't mean you're smart. Talent and character is what really defines you - too bad nobody cares.

-Ego is good - well a healthy amount anyway. It helps you bounce from your failures. It keeps you on top of your game.

-A fuckin smile now and then won't kill ya - you actually get better responses from people and better service. Just dont grin like a perv.

-Again, women - stop complaning that chivalry is dead. We're not complaining about not seeing anymore ladies coqquetishly drop lacy handkerchiefs and throwing a cum-hither look behind. Ditto about how we desperately need more of those typical finishing school mistresses who make girls learn to walk with books on their head, not like they're hauling a dead moose back to the cave.

Ah yes our lovely neighbours. Decent looking enough childless couple. They're damn bitchy though. The wife already came over twice to complain about the noise we're making. What noise? She can hear our keyboards, our footsteps when we go downstairs at night. WTF? Okayla fair enough after she complained about that gaming session, we havent had any here since. Man....if we want to have housewarming how ar? Sure they terus complain to student accoms. Puukimak la that woman damn bitchy. Maybe she bitchy cos the husband never screw her enough because they were afraid they'd offend the neighbours. Hell if they can hear me typing, i'm sure we'd hear at least some creaking springs. Haih better bake something for them before we have anymore gatherings in the house. And bring her over to the house up the road with all the india mari indian students. When they have parties you can fucking hear them from hearsall common with their skema club bhangra and 'yaars' and 'teri maas'. Then they'd probably be thankful their student neighbours are nice studious orientals.

Oh yeah played a bit of Black & White 2 recently. Bottom line, you're a god, you can cast spells and do shit over villages you own, and you have a pet creature you can groom into an evil bloodthirsty warrior or a good builder and farmer and all things in between. You're supposed to grow your influence and populace either by waging war to gain territory, or building a chunted enough town to attract people, gaining evil and good points respectively. It's all good fun when you're throwing rocks, meteors and fireballs at soldiers and helpless villagers ( all the way giggling like a sadistic fuck) but then you also have to do stupid shit like throw around barrels across islands to help some fucktard brewers and teach your bloody creature not to poop on people. Mahai that game damn waste life. Hardly any improvements game-wise from the first, moronic AI , crap-ass story. But it sure looked cool tho - and throwing hugeass rocks into villages never gets old.

Well back to work then. Found a perfect site to get info about my hydro coursework buut i have to do a lot of translating from bloody czech. The other bitches on my group had better be doing something as well. My group for our business coursework damn condemn . Any 2 of us bumping into each other on campus can kira group meeting already, and the group leader is super fuckin slack liddat. Seriously feel like mounting a coup if he didnt book a consultancy slot with the lecturer for our group next week for the business idea.

"Nobody will win the battle of the sexes - there is too much fratenizing with the enemy." - Henry Kissinger

I punch the double doors wide open with my two open palms, not letting the weight cut into my arrogant, heel digging haughty stride into the room. Threw off my tan/chestnut leather aviator jacket - left or right? Didnt matter. I just threw it hard. The casters on the aged leather highback chair creaked like many a door before in those b-grade slasher flicks just before some hapless half-naked sorority girl got turned into a colander by a generic masked psycho. I can literally feel the bile coarsing through my fingers. Ironic, how fiery spite and vitriol conveys physically into such an icy tingle.

Fuyoooooo drama or not? Haha Salman Rushdie - go back play play with your trophy wife only laaa....no need to write anymore.

Well thats just how i roughly feel at the moment , getting back into my blog after almost a month of nothing and having soooo much to rant about - with a skosh of film noir and other typically poignant cliches.

First rant? Hmmn its going to be tough without going into specifics. Its the story of the setan betina haram mulut laser - i'm sure those of you who know the story shared a good laugh with me about it. NaaAAbei some people got fantastic imagination mann.....come up with incredible story that flew on the swift wings of gossip all the way to london. Make me stress for fucks only. Nasib baik all the people who mattered knew better. Please lah - we've been doing london for the better part of 4 years....and not like you got much credibility left anyway. Save it on gossiping about people with reputations you can actually scuff la. Membising jerr...

Moving on, Mnite, Msoc.

Decided to re-run for Cultural Officer at the veryyyy last minute at the agm like....2+weeks ago. Made a pig's breakfast of my hastily improvised speech so gerenti hanchur already la. Dahlah tu teruk - hardly any second years showed up, 1st year votes were torn left right center, and the seniors didn't like me very much, duuuh. Wasn't particularly bitter, cos it was a huge weight off my back, and i could easily do more than i did for last year's mnite without even having the post. The new COs -( lets call 'im CO #1 for references' sake) a 2nd year English dude who's a theatre major or something whose qualifiers were a solid theater background ( OBviously) and a gap year spent teaching kids in sar-rare-wark english (eHuk eHuk) & #2, a malay girl who seems like she knows her stuff but made quite an impressive speech. (More on Msoc commitee's past and present later)


So anyway a bit pelik kan , a foreigner as cultural sec. Not being racist or anything, but it juuuust doesn't feel all that right kan? -especially if you're gonna be putting together cultural performances from a multi cultural origin etc etc etc. But he seems to really know his shit so kasi can la...in the spirit of cultural open-mindedness etc.

eEEETt wrong! He announced his idea for the play today at the screening of last year's mnite. He intends to do The Fall of the House of Usher. Those of you who know the story, or at least know the general vein of Edgar Allan Poe's works should be hearing alarm bells. Dark, morbid, depressing stories. Especially this one. I can just see whichever Malaysian VIP storming off in a huff in disagreement with the plays central theme of incest and a bizzare sibling relationship. Just like that LSE msoc/singsoc thing a coupla years back where the play poked at some sensitive malaysia-singapore issues.

Weirdly enough, most of the room seemed quite entranced when he went on about how there was going to be background dancers to portray the haunting of the house, and the use of face painting and elaborate costumes to further portray the twisting madness of the siblings. Later on he said something else about bringing in more warwick theatre people in - well the play only has 3 central roles. HMmmn.....

Don't get me wrong - i'd love to see a classic Poe fleshed out with contemporary theatrics and i do believe this guy can pull this off, BUT i'd love to catch it at a Dram Soc thingy...or the Arts center - not a Malaysian Night. An Mnite should engage the audience and allow them to identify at some level with the characters or story. An Mnite should be about Malaysian culture - society, song or dance. After the generally blase review of last year's play - a piece on stereotypes with an interesting premise but with one too many twists at the end - its obvious that most of an Mnite audience come to be entertained with something they can relate to. Not Shakespeare, not Poe, not Chekov (unless done in an original-besmirching manglish infused zany malaysian style).

So how, CO # 2? still think i should choreograph Bole Chudiyan? Can probably fit in when Madeline 'dies' ...or before the house physically splits in half. Take your pick.

Back to MSA's agm - there was this big hooha about allowing non-malaysians to run for commitee positions, more cos a bruneian was running for pres rather than that guy running for CO. After some big hooha about not being able to find a hard OR soft copy of the constitution, and several clumsily worded majority motions, they finally settled on all the positions being open to non-malaysian members save for the president. Blah blah blah figurehead blah blah blah. Not like our last president was a freakin bastion of leadership and charm. Naaaabeh. Typical skema spineless politician. Actually i dont really have a bone to pick with last year's comm. Except for that little niggle with the prez being a spineless, charmless gorm, and two bitches who chose to personally butt heads with me. Lets go back in time to last year, around mnite

*cheesy chimes sound effect and blur swirl effect*


Bitch A - kejap nak buat this performance, kejap nak buat that dance. cannot decide. Very irritating when i had to confirm numbers and formations. And then sommore nak sibuk sibuk kejap suggest some lameass dikir moves, and then suggest that new move. She can oh do eeEEverything except choose a dance, and do her job properly as props manager. In the end i had to go with some of the dancers to carik constumes and everything. She very smart dah i settle all that at the expense of 2 solid days of sleep she tried and get smart with me. I let her have it there and then sampai lari keluar nangis. Padan muka. Cue a minor ripple of applause from her underlings and other random ppl who thought she was an annoying bitch as well.


Bitch B - also one itchy monkey who cannot stay on her own job as treasurer. Loves to order other comm members around to do random shit. Sibuk sibuk here, sibuk sibuk there. One sterling moment was when i drew silouhettes of the stereotypes in the play to be used for the promo posters and websites - handed them to one of the comm members to setel with the other ppl in charge of the posters. Someeehow the skanky bitch intercepted it, made her own lamer versions and outta the fucking blue the next day i saw the posters with her versions on 'em. And she claimed the whole silouhette thing was her idea. Im sure other comm members have a similar bone to pick with her. To this day when i see her skinny ass in the gym i pray that she falls flat on her face on the treadmill until her already flat face flat sommore. Muka dahlah cam siall.

Think or KNOW you're one of the fuckers i'm blogging about? Well taking a line from the oh so hilarious God-King of Bengs, "Rockson Takumi Tan" -

FUCK YOU UNDERSTAAAND!!

Ahh it feels nice to be back in the " I don't give a damn what you twatheads think anymore" mood. Theres just no point killing yourself being nice to certain people.

Eh i continue next time la - dahlah kesian you all read so long. Sommore i pun dah ngantuk giler nih. Next entry - more malaysian rants, and more thoughts of Amar. Oh yeah and it'll be sooon!

This is MY blog. MY thoughts. MY release. MY therapy. Dont like? Go paint yourself grey and lie down on the fuckin NKVE - or Gibbett Hill Road...mana mana jelar.